also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
