Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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