she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
