Need sex. Gaining weight.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize