my phone needs a breathalizer
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
