is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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