Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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