i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
