Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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