we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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