he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
