Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
