It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i believe in u and ur pee
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
