i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
