We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
