So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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