Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
