So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I did not marry a roomba.
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