I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
