some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
