her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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