I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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