You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
