We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
