All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
