Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
