found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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