people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
