you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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