Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
