Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
