U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Randomize
