You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
