i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
