did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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