Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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