She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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