speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
