You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
