So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
