That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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