Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
