I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
