apparently the secret to your success is patron
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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