i just made my gag reflex go away.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
