No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
