my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
