I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
