i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
