he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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